ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
