this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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