I want to have your abortion
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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