dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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