If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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