You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
