In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
