everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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