Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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