can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize