He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
