god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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