she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
