I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
