If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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