I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Where is the hickey?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
