i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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