this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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