words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she pinky promised me she was 18
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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