I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
