BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
