We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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