I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
