I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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