Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
