I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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