The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
