I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
