Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You left your phone here
Wait...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
