What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
