This girl is more easily done than said...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
