its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
