Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
