i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
