TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
