I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
