I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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