there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
