I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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