Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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