Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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