I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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