apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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