I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
