dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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