They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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