the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
