I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
are you so shy because you have an std?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
