My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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