the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
