I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize