I feel great
I just peed on a car
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
