Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
