I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
