the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
