all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
