Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
